Updated: Sep 3, 2021
This reality of mine has been shaking + shifting, tearing + expanding- unafraid- into unchartered realms. So frequently and dramatically has my terrain been unfolding that I’m continually met with “you’ve really changed” and to myself in the mirror? “Hello, have we met?”. I feel as though things have slowed a little now and I’m ready to crawl out and share fragments of unbound cosmic wisdom that has been expressing itself onto my terrain…
The dance of the EGO:
The fashion of the ego is an entwined compendium of ribbons: silk spider web woven over our sight, and it takes a shift in perspective to see the fractalization of our vision caused by this web pattern. Imagine peering through a dew-drip spiders web; how would life look?
Ego has plethora angles | forms | disguises and the more you try to figure it out the more it is actually figuring you out. Tricky. The only way to step outside the silken trap is to sink into stillness. To stay millpond steady + observe the patterns of your thoughts, in the eventuality of clarity over who is really talking + where the web is curating fractal vision. Below are some ways that have come to the light, in which my ego [and thus, possibly yours] has been dancing un-watched:
· The incessant need to be DOING. I must do something with my time, I must go for a walk now, I must chill out now and I will do this by reading, I will do self-care now, I will sit down and do some shadow work… asking myself what It was that I needed to do to move past this situation [you know, when you feel so lost and overwhelmed in the self-help world of techniques] and it seemed the answer was continually and persistently. Stop. Just stop doing. Just sit.
· The creation of a persona | often via uninspired + practical action. Do you know how many times a day you take routine action to defend the person you wish to be perceived as? Ever said “I think this..” |“I don’t really like this type of thing personally…” | “for me it has to be…” The ego is exhausting in its need to create a solid reality- where truly we are made of gas + air- it is so scared of mulling around in the neutrality of space that is consciousness; YOU don’t believe or prefer or think anything, YOU are just consciousness. The ego is a web weaver, but the web of reality was weaved upon our birth unto this physical plane : our only “job” is to sit still so as not to scare the fly…
· The constant movement of heart consciousness back to head logic : “figuring it out” is a head conscious | logic | ego state. You cannot ever logic your way to the end of something, it will always land you in another ego fueled situation. Your job is never to figure it out, only to feel it fully + thus accept it.
- Expected outcomes: taking action with a certain outcome in mind is judgement, it is coming from ego and egos future-reaching hands. Action for results is the illusion of there ever being an end product | “results” are simply met expectations, you see? They’re not an objective “final” reality.
And yet, after + beyond the egos tricky, sticky web and the ways it mummifies us: keeps us small and un-potentialised, we must, after-all learn to dance with it. A two-step waltz. Duality is the law of this jungle.
We will always have ego; beautiful, catalystic, raw and primal ego. Ego is the only way we may look back over our shoulders at our corners + cracks. The only way we may hold shattered-glass mirrors to the sides of our darkest oblivions. Without ego, it is sure that we would never spiral up and out and forward. We would never grow without the silent offerings of the ego.
Learn to dance with the illusions.